It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog post, but it seems fitting this is my first post on my new website. I’ve had a very rough spring and summer, and it’s taken me a while to find these words. I want to put them on my blog to share this wonderful mare with you, and remind you that the dark can lead you to the light.

This blog is dedicated to Khaleesi. She was my sister’s mare and a beloved member of our family. She died from renal failure on June 14, 2024.

There are just no words to describe the shock we felt when Khaleesi went in for a dental exam and gastroscope and came away with the diagnosis of failing kidneys. We had taken her to the vet because she was having trouble gaining weight and was a very picky eater. Otherwise she was doing great under saddle, happy to do her job, and acting sassy with the other horses.

This horse! She was incredibly special. I can’t even begin to describe how many faces she could make, or how huge her personality was. She made me smile and laugh out loud all the time. And oh my gosh, she was such a joy to ride. She loved her job, and would get so annoyed if she didn’t get picked to be ridden. I am not sure I’ve ever met a horse quite like her, and am trying to come to peace with why she was taken away.

The spring had also been filled with another major surgery for my sister and she was continuing to struggle with a sub-functional knee joint. Shawna had a Type VI tibial plateau fracture (aka very very bad) in July, 2022 and is five surgeries into her healing journey. Khaleesi’s sickness and death piled onto an already challenging situation.

Kid M, aka Khaleesi, April 10, 2019 - June 14, 2024

The vets thought we had more time with Khaleesi, so we began the process of an embryo transfer. We were hoping to keep a piece of her with us. The goal was to get an embryo and transfer it to Mani, my sister’s other mare.

Khaleesi was a maiden mare, as was Mani, and we had very little planning for all of this. I remember standing in the barn, talking to the girls, asking them if they wanted to try this mad idea. I’ll never forget the look Mani gave me. She literally looked me in the eye, and had the most calming, present energy. She said “I’ve got you,” and somehow I knew it was true. Her show name is The Smartest Witch, and she really is that.

Unfortunately, Khaleesi’s health deteriorated too quickly, so we weren’t able to complete the embryo transfer. Someday I’ll share the story of her life, and what led to her death. There’s a lot of lessons learned in that tale, but it's too raw to share. Khaleesi returned to Spirit on June 14, 2024.

Even before Khaleesi got sick, the future had been feeling so uncertain. My sister and I were a team, and horses and sport was a lifestyle and something we did together. We both evented and show jumped, and had some big goals. But her broken knee, subsequent five surgeries, and complicated recovery had been going on for almost two years (and it’s still not done). Life felt on hold, and it was impossible to make future plans. There’s a real possibility that she won’t return to her previous level of riding, and as much as I love competing, I’m not sure I want to travel around and do this gig without her.

We’ve been doing this careful dance of manifesting a healed body but also accepting what is and being willing to create something new. My sister and I have both worked in trauma and rehab centers with people who have devastating injuries, so we know this drill. It’s much harder when it’s your life, and you’re living the drill.

Between Shawna’s broken body and dead horse, there was a long, dark pause. The only decision we made was to breed Mani. My sister was in a contract with the stallion owner and had paid for a breeding, and Mani’s body was prepped and ready to go.

What I know to be true is that horses rescue us. They are these incredible souls with a huge spirit, and they can somehow just take in grief and trauma and move us forward. Mani was so steady. If you know Mani, you know that’s not how we’d ever describe her. But she was so, so, so steady. She just wrapped us up in her confidence. You could feel her say, “Girls, I’ve got this. Khaleesi and I have a great plan. It’s going to be alright.”

I was so sad and devastated, but this wonderful mare helped me feel some faith.

Mani is pregnant, and Stormborn will be here at the end of May. My sister wrote a wonderful Instagram post about this here.

The thing dark times do for you is make you pause. Our mom just kept saying, “when things get so terrible, something good happens. Something good is coming for you girls.”

In that pause, my sister and I started to remember some dreams we had for our horse business years ago. We started to talk about the future, and create some really fun goals that involve breeding, developing young horses, a rehab program and other passion driven ideas. I scream at God and Spirit sometimes, to say you could have moved us to this path another way, without taking Khaleesi away. But I am grateful for the pivot and the push and am excited about the future. Khaleesi Acres is our concept, and it’s moving from inspiration and intuition to something more solid.

Here’s to the future, and all the wonderful horses that hold us, heal us, and move us forward. Khaleesi, you will forever be in our hearts. You have all my love baby girl,

Shelley

This is for Khaleesi

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